This blog isn’t going to be about only one topic, it’s going to be about a variety of topics that are mostly personal to me whether it was from a past experience or the current me. So when this blog gains popularity (hopefully) I would like to read your (the viewers) comments and experiences because we can all learn from each and help each other grow.
What happen to me while at work help create today’s blog. Now don’t get me wrong, nothing happen to be at work, but the person the was messaging me really struck a nerve with me (a familiar nerve at that) and it really made me think about a lot of thing from my past. Do you know your worth in comparison to the world, those around you and most importantly yourself? One things for sure, I seriously am selling myself short. I put others before myself all the time and end up getting shitted on, not just anyone btw, people I care about. I am not a happy person, i don’t know what happiness is. Happiness is just a word to me so I try my best to make those around me feel something I cannot. You all must be thinking “why aren’t I happy?” A lot of things happen to me in my early and mid-20’s, that made be give up and truly feeling happy. But not to worry, today’s me is rather content on many things and is focus on bettering my life to obtain my comfortable lifestyle 😎 This all comes back to knowing my worth and selling myself short, while I make those I care about happy, sometimes it would’ve been nice to get an inch of that treatment back? Nah, not for Tamara, it’s ok though, I am over all that. The person that messaged me (and has been for the past month or so) is my ex-boyfriend I dumped 4 years ago. A lot can happen to one person in that amount of time, it sure has for him, he’s gotten married and has two more kids (had one already from a previous relationship) as for me, not a got damn thing happen to/for me lol😔
You must be wondering “why are you talking to your ex who is married now?” But the REAL question is “why is HE always messaging/finding me when he is married? 🐸☕️“. Well to answer these questions, he’s blocked from my phone and other facebook accounts but as soon as I created a new one out of boredem (before I found out about making money online) he immediately “waved” to me at the messenger. Of course, since I really don’t like to deal with him and kept it short and kept it moving but out of boredem he can message me I suppose. Today, what he did was just be typical him, act like a bloody moron, even though he has already confessed he still has feelings for me, reality says otherwise: he is married and I refuse to date him again. What bothered me today is the fact that he get sending stickers with couples being a lovey dovey, and of course it didn’t sit well with me. I told him “you are sending these to the wrong person” and a few other things, like “you are taken etc” He didn’t understand what I meant and I wasn’t going to dumb myself down (like I use to do) to explain to him what I meant. But i will say it pissed me off: I am single, my last real relationship was HIM, after that I just did friends with benefits but after a while that annoyed me too. I am a feeler, I need to be in love or really like this person to even be touched by them, now I just stay to myself and is focus on gaining wealth. I have nobody yet his has something I stopped wanting after dealing with him: marriage and kids. From our short talks he isn’t happy with his marriage, that really isn’t my problem because I know we all have choices to make and looking at the dates of them kids, it was clearly a rush job…hey, no judgement but don’t come to me about things lol. He has what most people dream yet he’s sending his ex-gf “lovey-dovey” stickers? He clearly didn’t understand what I was getting at so I called him stupid, because that’s what he is, and knowing him, he’s probably found this blog by now and I do hope you are reading this and I will say it again: You are a fucking moron because of many reason.🤦🏾♀️
Since I am alone (single) for large periods of time I take time when i wasn’t wallowing in self pity to analyze myself and to realize my faults to better myself as a person. I knew no matter what if I like the person and we are “cool” I always go out my way to help them, I don’t mind because I feel friends should help each other, but I sadly go above and beyond. Knowing this is one of my major faults, my solution for this issue was to just stay away from people so I won’t get shitted on! 😁. It’s a sad reality but what I am doing now I have to engage with people, I need to continue to step out of my comfort zone, it’s fine, since I don’t go above and beyond for strangers.
If you feel you need to change yourself for a more better you, take 5-15 minutes out of your day and mediate. Or just sit or lay down in a comfy chair, coach or bed and think or all your positive and especially negative attributes. True successful people admit their faults and own up to their mistakes, once you start doing that, become a better you can begin.
Until next time~